“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Deuteronomy 5:16)
As our parents age, our relationship and roles change and shift from care receivers to caregivers. The meaning of “honoring parents” takes on new characteristics. Our once strong and dependable parents may become weak, forgetful, and dependent on the help of others. We are called upon to take a new role of looking after the welfare of our parents. The ministry of children now becomes the ministry of adult children.
In the context of real life relationships with parents, we find the role of the adult child caregiver to be a very complex and sometimes very difficult. Our parents may not want the help we think they need. We may feel guilty about what we are not able to do for them because of distance, job responsibilities or family obligations. We may feel resentment because of past experiences, present demands or the lack of help from our brothers or sisters. We feel sad when we see our parents lose their health and their strength. We also may feel a sense of opportunity to care for those who cared for us.
Every one of us has to figure our own way through the ministry of caring for our parents as they grow older. There is no one right way to do it. Different people make different choices that are equally good given their circumstances.
Care management is a holistic service that provides families with the comprehensive guidance they need when an older adult or disabled individual is facing ongoing health challenges. At the heart of this guidance is a Care Manager who works directly with the family to navigate the maze of medical planning, care decisions and obstacles they face as their loved one’s condition advances.
Where do I start?
Our Care Managers start with the first phone call. We will ask the right questions and assess our client’s wishes, needs, abilities, personalities, supports, deficits, and implement a comprehensive multi-disciplinary care plan that helps us streamline the complications that arise in everyday life.
We connect the dots between providers and keep lines of communication open – resulting in a more cohesive and holistic approach from your doctors, home health care providers, rehabilitation facilities, non-medical in home care and list can go on.
Short of holding back the hands of time, the greatest gratitude we can show our senior parents, is finding ways to honor them while educating ourselves on their care.
Written by: Barbara Horstmeyer, Geriatric Care Manager
How’s it going in your relationship with your parents? Are you benefiting from the “first command with a promise?” Struggles we have in many areas of life are often a result of our misunderstandings about honoring our parents. The more you understand about honoring parents, the more benefit you’ll experience in every other relationship.